How The House Breathes

by Squid Fishing

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03:44

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released January 23, 2017

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Squid Fishing Hobart, Australia

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Track Name: Netflix Ruined My Life
Spend the days watching Netflix neglecting the ones that I love
Talking to strangers on the internet as if it'll solve the problems of how I never ever reply
And I could solve them, why don't I solve them?
The idea of it makes me want to set myself alight

So I'll ignore, pretend, that none of these things exist
Convince myself that I am not a piece of shit
I'll ignore, pretend, all my responsibilities until the very end

Say we're so broke can't even buy us a feed
But that's a fucking lie we just smoke so much god damn weed
Bought a 50 thought it'd last a few days
Smoked by all your scroungey mates
And I smoked too much green and it's getting to me
I keep seeing things that aren't really there
Like my deadbeat dad

So I'll ignore, pretend, that none of these things exist
Convince myself that I am not a piece of shit
I'll ignore, pretend, all my responsibilities until the very end

I don't know how to stop being a piece of shit
Track Name: Hectic Jazz Funk
Set myself alight with my love of destruction
My passion, my soul, my love, turns to flames
And I feel my skin drip away, I am nothing but a skeleton
That's alright brush the dirt off you can still eat it
It's alright you won't catch any diseases

Watch my reflection eat itself away
As I tear myself limb from limb
And it's okay, oh it's okay
I don't need my skin anyway
It's okay, it's okay
Don't need it anyway

Sometimes I just let myself go mad
See where I end up on the street
Scare myself get my blood pumping
Just for the kicks
These screams they echo inside of me
These tiny bugs under my skin
I'm losing it, I'm losing it, I don't know what I'm losing

Watch my reflection eat itself away
As I tear myself limb from limb
And it's okay, oh it's okay,
I don't need my skin anyway
Oh it's okay, it's okay, don't need it anyway

Just like an unprepared musician sometimes I like to test myself
Play songs that I haven't quite finished yet
I don't know if you can tell I haven't finished this one yet
But I think I might just get away with it

Watch my reflection eat itself away
As I tear myself limb from limb
And it's okay, oh it's okay
I don't need my skin anyway
It's okay, oh it's okay
Don't need it anyway
Track Name: Meaningless Sex
Spent the morning laying in bed
Naked with insecurities
Accepting how human we are
We can't escape it we can't
Just when I thought I could be here forever
My head clouds over and I saw no sign of understanding
And suddenly again I'm a world away
You just smile at me so at peace and content
I smile back, it was enough for you
But I only did because you'd never understand

Meaningless sex to make me feel so disgustingly alive
Temporary men to validate who I am
It's all I've ever known to replace the validation I never got
From my fucked up family
But that's a story for another day this one's about him

Honestly I miss you to death
But I don't miss feeling like shit
For a moment I thought you were the one
But realized I just got comfortable

Honestly I miss you to death but I don't miss meaningless sex
And I feel like such fucking shit I don't think I'll ever get over it

Meaningless sex to make me feel so disgustingly alive
Temporary men to validate who I am
It's all I've ever known to replace the validation I never got
Track Name: Bend In Every Direction
Constantly seeking validation from people who don't mean a single thing
And I wonder where I went wrong
But these are the places I choose to be
It is not ever anyone but me
Find myself in unfamiliar grounds
With people I don't know a single thing about
It never seems to change

Meet me by the waves and I'll pretend you understand
Let the waves swallow your toes whilst I swallow your false hope
The details I mustn't forget will turn to nothing
I will fall asleep and forget everything
I'll forget you were ever here

It was only ever temporary
Now your face joins a sea of them
I thought all I needed was to keep the waves company
But now they won't let me go
Track Name: Philosophy
And there's so much of everything that I'll never understand
All these theories of existence that just suffocate my mind
And I don't know much of anything but I sure as hell know this
Fuck determinism
I'll shape my own reality

Spend the night looking at existential theories
Thought experiments that are fucking useless to me
Don't want to waste away like those philosophers
Who studied living but never really left their rooms
Waste away waste away Plato you seedy fuck
You were just salty because you couldn't get any love (it was the beard)

Teach me how to live the good life
But spend your time just wandering around
I've been trying to think objectively
About how the world could live peacefully
And I'm starting to think that maybe we should just

Kill all the rapists and the murderers
Set the pedophiles on fire

And we'll kill all the bastards
Track Name: Heavy Boots
Left my curtains wide open in the hope for the white to wake me up
It's now 5am and I am wide away
The nightmares did that for me instead

I feel so mediocre
Just waiting for the snow
But whether it arrives or not
I'll still be as cold as before

My nose belongs in the tips of the flowers
But instead it's buried deep in the ground from the poisons I put in myself
To be as beautiful as them
Now I'm dead

I'm afraid of the silence so I fill up my room with noise
But this time I turn it off to see what my own noise holds

And I feel so mediocre
Just waiting for the snow
But whether it arrives or not
I'll still be as cold as before

My nose belongs in the tips of the flowers
But instead it's buried deep in the ground
From the poisons I put in myself
To be as beautiful as them
Now I'm dead

Done thinking of the days where I couldn't look at myself
And I'm done tolerating that evil bitches bullshit
These bumps these bruises these scars they won't be opened ever again
I'm done with it, I'm done blaming myself